When I say 'finished with,' I mean 'sleep with when drinking until further notice.'
It isn't so much a problem as it is a minor inconvenience. It's not a conflict, more an issue. As in, I take issue with the fact that he's so good in bed I can't seem to kick him out of it. (Last night, we dutifully christened every room of my new apartment- and there wasn't even a bed yet.)
I bristle at this admission like I am above it. In truth, none of us are. I am lead to believe, if my experiences and those of my close friends are any indication, that all of us with a serious former relationship have serious problems with the 'former' part.
I'm not sure if it's because of the sex stuff...or the love stuff.
It might be because loving a person, actually loving them, takes a certain ammount of self-saacrifice. Parts of who we are eventually go from sacrificed to lost. Maybe, in this post-breakup togetherness, we simply seek to find the parts of ourselves we've sacrificed to be with them. Almost like giving back the movies he left at your place. Or trying to get back your hairdryer.... Don't ask.
Could be the sex thing... When you've been with someone for any ammount of time, the sexual chemistry is either there or it isn't. If it is, you can imagine the unwillingness to let it slip away. Great sex, like good help and acceptable Chinese food, is hard to find. So when you have it, and you want it, you probably won't let it go without a fight. And some rug burns...
...until something better comes along. This is unfair. Completely true, but unfair.
If you've played the game of love and lost, is it breaking the rules to jump back onto the field for sex?
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Obviously, you know my answer to your question is a resounding 'no.'
Yet at the same time, you know that while I'm "on the field," I haven't scored any points. Probably because I smoke and am way out of shape.
That aside, it doesn't mean I can't score easily. It just means I need all the other players off the field...
I think.
I'm not really sure, I've always been more of an actor than an athlete.
Loving a person shouldn't mandate self-sacrifice. While in a loving relationship, don't you believe that it's compromise that will survive the trials and tribulations of mundane everday?
If we sacrifice who we are, then the person we're with doesn't truly appreciate who we were...meanwhile, you become someone you hate.
But I digress because this isn't my blog...
And you know my answer is 'yes' as well. A big fat, neon 'yes' hanging above my head. I remained confused, however...
Love or sex?
If you score that easily, is it worth as much in the end as the points that were harder to get?
I disagree about self-sacrifice. While I think mandated is the wrong word to use, I believe there is such a necessity in true and lasting relationships... Something's always gotta give. Somehow, compromise, to me, implies too tame an attachment for a relationship that lasts.
Never digress. My blog is your blog. Make yourself at home.
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